About Kaycee  |   Media  |   Contact

Posts Tagged ‘Laurence Fishburne’s daughter’

Laurence Fishburne’s daughter, Montana, and her entry into the world of porn

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

Dr. Julius Licata, Director of TeenCentral.net says celebrities like Kim Kardashian and now Montana Fishburne send a message we don’t want to give our young people: sex is something you barter.  

Did Kardashian influence Montana Fishburne to become a porn star? Montana says that she did. But she also said she likes sex and thinks porn is a good way to explore different fantasies.

Dr. Julius says what’s evident is that sex has become Montana’s currency. She wants media attention. “I can make a name for myself using sex”—the media is doing stories about her. People are talking about her. She now has a career. If she wants to hurt her parents, sex is the way—her parents are horrified. The message this young woman is sending is one that hurts all young woman: use your sexuality as payment and you can get everything you want.

Does Montana have the insight “knowing if I do this now, what affect it will have on me or someone else—to make a choice to become a porn star? She’s of legal age.

Some girls hook up, thinking, “This will get me closer to boyfriend, to love,” or “Having a boyfriend gets me to popular.” Sound crazy? Only if you’re unfamiliar with today’s youth culture. Read Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture. Finding it difficult to talk with your daughter about sex? Read Meg Hickling’s Grown-Up Sex: Sexual Wholeness for the Better Part of Your Life.

Have you talked to your daughter about hooking up?  Check out what Lily, a high-school girl (and fabulous blogger) thinks about hooking up.  What does your daughter think? Does she  know what a girl deserves in a hookup (like safe sex and to feel, not just give, pleasure)? Have you talked to her about the difference between a positive and negative hookup experience? Does she think hooking up is a great way to get to know a guy?

Knowing what to expect from a hookup or relationship—what needs she deserves to have met, and how she deserves to be treated—is a way for her to make informed choices.

What comes to mind is Lynn Glazier’s project “IT’S A TEEN’S WORLD: wired for sex, lies and power trips,” where teens use films to tell us how our sexually charged world influences their choices. Parents need to listen to these voices. Montana Fishburne’s story-line is just as likely to be played out at your teen’s school.  

If Montana Fishburne wants to be in films, maybe it’s because she played the lead in ”Pursuit of Popularity”—girl uses sex to get popularity (or fame, in her case) in high-school. Or “Under Pressure”—girl’s make up stories—so-and-so is pregnant, getting an abortion, has already had sex with four guys, i.e., use sexual gossip to get what they want. After Jamie Fox disses Montana on his radio show she twittered that he was making a gay porno sex tape. Yes I know, she says her twitter account was hi-jacked. Just saying. Not judging. And then there’s the dating violence: Montana allegedly was arrested for beating up her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.  

It’s important to talk to your teens about healthy relationships—how to respect themselves and others while getting their needs met, and how to get others to do the same. Parents need to be mindful that women like Kardashian and Montana Fishburne can become role models for their daughters. But what parents really need to be aware of is that Montana was probably influenced as much by her high-school culture as she was by Kardashin.

I read “Telling it like it is: Teen Perspectives on Romantic Relationships” many teens said they didn’t believe in that crazy little thing called love. Remember this? You pull off the first petal and say: “He loves me.” And the next: “He loves me not.” You repeat until you get to the last petal to find out whether your boyfriend loves. Sound crazy? Have you talked to your daughter about love? Or have you left it up to Google?

Talk to her about love—show her a way to see love. Share this heart-saving shortcut: “When a guy tells you he loves you, those are just words. Love is what you experience when he’s happily meeting your needs (and maybe some you didn’t even know you had!) and you’re happily meeting his, all the while maintaining your self-respect and meeting your own needs, too.”

Is becoming a porn star good for Montana? Is hooking up good for girls? It depends on how well a girl knows and likes herself and whether she has the information and skills to make a deliberate choice. Self-respect is knowing what our needs and wants are, learning to recognize what it feels like to get them met, and using that self-knowledge to make deliberate choices.

Healthy relationship criteria can help teens make better choices. They’ll help your daughter figure out what she’s shopping for—hookup or boyfriend? A hookup is a way for a girl to get physical needs met—to desire, to be noticed—with no strings, no commitment. And to get any sex she desires, from kissing to intercourse. If she’s shopping for more than release (to be pleasured and give pleasure)—like caring or commitment—she needs to reset her bar to “boyfriend.”

And that would be where we step in—to help her to find a way to do that, with reasons, with answers—to provide insight about what she’s shopping for amidst coercive influences of celebrities and culture! A  big part of a beautiful life—which we all want for our daughters—comes from knowing the difference between a Prince and a Frog.

To respect ourselves and our daughters we really need to be fearless.


Kaycee Jane

Kaycee Jane is the author of Frog or Prince? The Smart Girl’s Guide to Boyfriends (Amazon). Jane blogs at www.frogorprince.ca. When life with your teen seems overwhelming, try www.TeenCentral.net ‘s Parent section and get help from a professional.